Columns

I've just been to see Mission: impossible:III with Mrs R. It was a nice diversion at the end of another busy week where I didn't have to think about computers or custards for a couple of hours. At one point in the film, the protagonists call up live satellite images of the baddies with whom they're battling. These are pretty detailed and the view zooms in until there's enough detail to read a car number plate.

This started a big debate in the office as to whether you could, for instance, read the time on somebody's wristwatch from space. Keef says you can, and I say you can't, mainly because no matter how good your lenses and image-capturing technology, atmospheric distortion will blur the level of magnification so you can't see the detail. If anybody out there really knows what the limits are, please email me.

BLIND FAITH

This isn't just an academic debate, as films such as M:i:III have a big influence on people's expectations. Take Blinding Bob, for instance. As a bit of a control freak he'd love to be able to be in three places at once so he could keep an eye on what was going on everywhere. So I told him about the latest internet-based cameras, many of which need no computer host as they have a built-in web server that allows authorised users to log in and see what's going on from just about anywhere with a net connection.

We have a couple of these at the office and you can configure the software to react to movement in defined areas of the picture and trigger a recording for a defined amount of time. This is much better than the old VCR-based systems, where you had to troll through hours of inaction to see

ADVERTISEMENT

whether anyone had invaded your privacy during your absence.

The price of these devices has dropped remarkably over the past couple of years and a decent camera with server capability costs under £300. If you're prepared to spend a few hundred pounds more, you can have a camera with pan, tilt and zoom that you can control from your web browser.

Bob was sceptical so I agreed to lend him one for a couple of weeks so he could try it out and see if it really would let him see enough to be able to manage remotely. I suspect that 'managing' would mean being able to bollock people on three sites simultaneously. I set up a static camera at site number two so that it was looking down the factory, which is about 200 metres long, from the top of the supervisor's office, which is on a six-foot elevated plinth. Then I phoned the Finnish girl (see last month's Under Development) at head office to be sure that the pictures were viewable, and she confirmed they were. So I drove home.

The following day Bob rang. He was not pleased. "That b***** telly system's no good," he complained. "All I can see is b***** black."

FORK TONGUE

As it's internet-based all I had to do was log on to see if he was right, which he was. The picture was, well, all black; there was no picture. Bob wanted to see what everyone was doing (or not doing). As it was a nice day, I got out the trusty Triumph and rode over to factory number two. Had a cable become unplugged? Was there a fault with the camera? No. When the staff had got wind of the spy in the sky they simply found a new place to park the big fork-lift truck so that the top arm was right in front of the lens. As Bob was unwilling to pay for the exercise and I believe in charging only when a project is properly in and fully working, we agreed that I would take my loan camera away.

A week later, some materials were stolen from the factory. Two weeks later, more stuff was taken. When I was visiting shortly after, Bob asked for help. After the first theft, Bob had asked an electrician friend to install a camera to cover the yard outside. So much for customer loyalty after setting up a system for him to evaluate for free. Apparently the electrician had done it on the cheap.