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I run a great many websites for a great many clients, including the good, the bad and the ugly. All of them have one thing in common - they desire the highest possible rankings on Google. I always try to explain that there are several very effective methods of harnessing the mighty Google, and they all involve paying me a modest sum of money, as opposed to paying Google. Google begs to differ, of course, and would rather charge website owners directly for routing visitors to their pages via AdWords.

AdWords are any little words and phrases offered for sale, in the hope that people typing them into their browsers will be tempted to click on an automatically triggered advertising link. For example, if I want to attract people who search for the words 'computer shopper' to my website, Google will charge me a £5 activation fee, and then up to £20 a day to attract something like 28 daily 'clicks'. That's a monthly advertising budget of £600, but I have known website promoters spend several thousand a month for the most valuable AdWords.

Number crunching

My beef with Google over AdWords is that the number of clicks it charges my clients bears no relation to the actual number of visitors delivered. I know the exact number of visitors and precisely where they

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originate, because I scrupulously analyse the raw log files that contain the record of every pathway followed and every click made by every website visitor. My dialogue with the Google AdWords UK and Ireland Team is a long one, but I can condense their defence over several weeks into a few sentences, as follows:

Me: Why are you charging for clicks that don't exist?

Google: Certain browsers remove important referrer data.

Mine don't.

The same user may click on your ad several times in a short period.

I call that a click-farm, or a waste of advertising budget.

You haven't got JavaScript enabled.

Yes I have.

You are using an old version of Netscape or Internet Explorer.

No I'm not.

Your web-tracking software is not working.

Yes it is.

Your web-tracking software is not fit for purpose.

It's state of the art.

You are not using Google Analytics to find which AdWords are working.

Correct, I prefer to check your claims using independent software. Why can't you send my clients the list of clicks and clickers like an itemised phone bill? After all, if you have the data to be able to produce a bill, then you have the data to verify that bill.

Hello Mel, I apologise for the delayed reply, Google AdWords is experiencing rapid growth. We ask the advertiser to provide as many details as they can to better research the cause of invalid clicks.

Which takes us all the way back to square one. Google continues to charge my clients for referrals that do not exist in any record that I can verify, and until it does, I will continue to advise my clients to stop using AdWords.