The Week in Your Words: the iPod don't touch

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By Stuart Turton

Posted on 22 May 2009 at 17:17

In a week that saw Apple get in a lather over iPod shocks, Dell smear Windows 7 and a US watchdog promise an end to our GPS hell, we take a look back to see what you've been saying.

Apple: apply handcream to avoid iPod shocks

Mark the date, friends. This is the day that Apple officially became a parody of itself. The Jobs Mob is recommending that to avoid electrical shocks from your iPod you apply handcream and stay out of the wind. God help us, it's like throwing rocks at a sackful of kittens... but that's not going to stop us.

"This minor design glitch must have passed Apple's over-zealously lubricated staff unnoticed," suggests stasi47.

Is it worrying that we suspect this may not be too far from the mark?

"The latest instalment of Lifestyle Guidance from Apple. In next week's edition be compelled to purchase a Mini Cooper and dockside apartment," notes clen_peapus.

And finally, to mistersaxn: "'Users are advised to only touch the iPod when naked to avoid static discharge from man-made fibres - okay so that's not a quote but, in an alternate reality, it is."

And in that alternative reality, a Steve Jobs keynote is a very uncomfortable event.

Dell: Windows 7 is too expensive

The level of praise being thrown at Windows 7 is a little bit unnerving. This is a Microsoft product after all, and as we all know, admitting that you like Microsoft is like admitting you enjoy a cheeky bit of syphilis.

Fortunately, Dell was on hand to splash some cold water on the Windows 7 love-in by claiming that the licenses are too expensive. cheysuli saw stormy waters ahead.

"If Windows 7 is more expensive, Microsoft won't sell it. No doubt 'piracy' will be to blame for that (again)."

Piracy's a serious issue cheysuli. We should know, piracy ate our homework and expensed our new buttock-shaped swimming pool. Pesky piracy.

"I think Microsoft has shot itself in the foot with Vista and so most people will be reluctant to change to Windows 7 even though it is supposed to have a built in virtual XP," agrees sjj1805. "Putting up the price of Windows 7 will only make things worse and create even more reluctance to swap from a perfectly good operating system that does everything that most people want and expect from their computer."

Is everybody seated? We only ask because darkhairedlord is about to knock your socks off with a master class in cynicism.

"Expect it to be expensive. Why else would Microsoft 'give away' so many 'free copies' of Windows 7 for a year. This story is a red herring. Microsoft is testing the water, letting people think it's going to be very expensive before announcing a 'bargain' price of 'only' £100 for an upgrade from Vista."

Blimey, there's a man who'd question Ghandi's credentials at the gates to heaven.

Sat navs could fail by 2010

When a US watchdog warned that the Air Force might struggle to keep the GPS network running beyond this year, we weren't sure whether it was a warning or an early birthday present. Let's make no bones about it - GPS is a plague. It makes stupid drivers even stupider, removes our only excuse for not visiting dotty Aunty Hilda, and it hasn't got a chuffing clue where Shangri-La is. And for this we pay upwards of £200? Madness.