Mystic Malone's almanac for 2006

Posted on 22 Dec 2005 at 12:22

It is that time of year again: that time when we gaze into our crystal ball and with trembling lips predict the events that will shape the technology industry in 2006. The fog is clearing, and we foresee...

JANUARY

Google seals long term content deal with Time Warner's AOL. Chaos at Apple Expo as Jobs' 'one more thing' announcement of a cigarette paper-sized iPod Rizla is lost in fluff in his pocket. The annual Consumer Electronics Show is dominated by Sony and Toshiba displaying new DVD formats. Each company rents half the room space in Las Vegas.

FEBRUARY

Google extends 'click to call' service to the UK. Phone sex business booms. It is unseasonably cold. European Parliament erupts when MEPs wake up to discover software copyright directive was approved as part of 'Bovine Pesticide Control Harmonisation Regulations (Ukraine)' vote. BBC pilots downloadable TV programmes for UK audiences and protection against overseas copying.

MARCH

Analysts proclaim 'Videopod Month' and figures show 'Videopodcasting' spreading rapidly as sales of video iPod increase. Yahoo! releases the beta of Wikiblogpod.com the 'pod bloggers encyclopaedia'. New Video downloads service built on BitTorrent technology premiered by Blockbuster. RIAA sues podcasters for 'illegal use of copyrighted music'.

APRIL

Microsoft begins build up to launch of Windows Vista. In a deal with Time Warner, Microsoft announces the new 'Harry Potter and the Windows of Perfection' movie is entering production. Google lawyers pore over their AOL contract. Google announces Blogpodwiki.com 'pod encyclopaedia for bloggers'. First Macs running x86 processors launched. Intel sponsors the 'i' in iMac for an undisclosed sum.

MAY

Windows Vista launches to much ballyhoo. Microsoft claims 10m copies shipped on day one. MSN announces Linkblogpod.com 'encyclopaedia of pod blogging'. Sony launches Blu-ray DVD format. BT rolls out the first 8Mbit domestic broadband to its customers. Downloadable porn video business booms.

JUNE

An announcement that spam has fallen dramatically is sent to 1.2m email addresses. A Blog covering the World Cup makes $1,000,000,000 in ad revenue which just about covers the players wages for a day. England knocked out in quarter finals. Google Video expands to accommodate widespread use of videocasting.

JULY

Security problems arise with Windows Vista. Early adopters begin class action case against Microsoft. Redmond claims that the suit 'has no merit'. Google integrates Google Bank with Click to Call. Phone sex business booms. Dr Who found to be biggest download in the US.

AUGUST

First Phishing attacks on Google Bank reported. First Linux port to x86 Macs. Millions of emails called 'SonySpam' appear advertising Playstation3. Sony dismisses the spam as 'dirty tricks'. SCO files for Chapter 11. No one much notices.

SEPTEMBER

Apple announces low cost x86 Macs running AMD Athlon 64 chips. Blogwikilink.com sues Microsoft, Yahoo! and Google claiming the patent on online bloggers encyclopaedias.

OCTOBER

Microsoft ships Windows Vista 1.1 'security update'. Intel demos first four-core processors. Motion Picture Association of America sues videopodcasters for 'illegal use of copyrighted movies'. The DRM on Blu-ray discs found to be source of zombie PCs spreading SonySpam.

NOVEMBER

Hollywood studio announces release of Godzilla vs King Kong on both next-gen DVD formats. No one much cares. There are blizzards in Silicon Valley. Sony launches the PlayStation 3 worldwide. First game is MPAA and RIAA agents blasting their way into a suspected pirate's fortress. IBM buys 'substantial share' of Red Hat.