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Microsoft to slash price of XP for low-cost laptops

This week saw Microsoft declare war on the low-cost laptop market with the sort of all-out assault which would have sent Ghengis Kahn scurrying back to his ger, feigning back problems and complaining of a headache.

It began with Microsoft hacking chunks off the price of XP on cheap laptops, and ended among the rain, mud and carnage of OLPC field, where finally, inevitably, the XO laptop bowed its proud head and accepted dominion under Windows.

"It's clearly an attempt to kill off the OLPC project, and any other project using Linux as the operating system," reports UN envoy SwissMac. "The problem is that direct comparisons of the Linux and Windows machines clearly show Linux boxes are superior, easier to use, with better use of resources and more programs available to do more useful things with."

Richard Neil could also be heard muttering darkly: "I think it is a mistake for Microsoft in the longer run. The operating system it's putting on will be hobbled and slow and it's an operating system it's determined to otherwise kill off. The arguments by 'customers' about the value of an MS OS on the machine is close to nonsense."

At least milliganp found a bright spot in the carnage: "It's very cheap and probably competitive with the cost to a low-end PC maker of having to provide Linux support. It's also nice to see that Microsoft thinks XP has a future!"

Asus deploys Linux on motherboards

However, no sooner had Microsoft cracked open the jubbly and made eyes at the waitress than Linux launched a devastating counter attack, infiltrating every one of Asus' motherboards with the open-source Splashtop operating system. It was swift and bloody

"This really could do Linux the favour and [give it the] all important boost it needs right now," says resident strategist nicomo. "Microsoft must be 'quite' irritated, if not annoyed and this could explain why it has recently announced cut price licences for XP for low end or budget laptops. Go Linux."

And here comes greemble with a bag of salt and an eye for a gaping wound: "OK, Bill - let's see you get Windows XP small enough to compete with this."

"Welcome to the launch of Windows 8 Retro for Quick Booting, code name MSDOS 10," concludes jamesyld.

Houston, we've got a problem: PC-eating ants

And on to a battle of an entirely different sort. It appears ants have declared war on Houston, beginning with its electrics - which they're chomping through with the same enthusiasm a panda brings to extinction.

The news had our forum members digging out their long-neglected copies of The Penguin Book of First Insects for ant-related facts. Take this gem from nvj1662:

"I saw a documentary a couple of years ago that showed the harm done by ants to traffic-light control systems. They cause a fair few crashes apparently. The clever people on the programme explained that there is something in the electrical fields created by this kit that attracts the ants."

And the trivia didn't end there, with scdlewis upping the ante (sorry, but you knew it was coming): "Red fire ants cause a similar problem. When they're electrocuted they release "alarm products" which brings more ants, and then they're electrocuted."

Despite this wealth of ant-based learning, Gindylow still had questions - and what questions they were.

"Surely this adds a new twist to the whole Terminator war of the machines concept? All we do is breed up a few billion ants, and we won't need Arnold Schwarzennegger," he notes sagely.

"This also leaves a number of important questions un-answered. Do the ants prefer Intel or AMD flavour? Which operating system creates the most ant-attractive EM field? How much is a hermetically sealed double skin with cavity Titanium Alloy Computer case, with a built in Firewire powered UV high Voltage Ant Zapper?"

Good questions and the first person with the right answers wins a PC Pro-trained ant swarm of their very own. We can't say fairer than that.

See you next week.