Some use several fingers simultaneously to work it, many others prod with fat single digits. The vast majority come bundled with PCs, and few people would ever consider spending more than pocket money on a new one. Few, but not zero.

We’ve seen Art Lebedev’s Optimus Maximus keyboard. It “justified” its extravagant price tag by placing a small OLED display behind each of the 113 keys. Specially programmed software is then able to change the picture on each of the 48 x 48 pixel displays. See it in action here. Perhaps you could change each key to a vomit pattern to disguise your reaction on seeing the $1,500 price tag.

This was then complemented by Art Lebedev’s 15-key Pultius number-pad. Just in case you felt you weren’t getting enough value from your investment.

Then in January US start-up United Keys signed a deal with Foxconn to bring the OLED technology to a range of gaming devices. This led to the launch of a keyboard for PC gaming, with a row of 12 customisable OLED buttons in place of the normal function keys. We didn’t know the price at the time of announcement, and a quick look at the website shows that… well… it doesn’t appear to have materialised. Surprising.

But I don’t know why either of them is bothering – there’s already a keyboard out there at a palatable price that puts the Maximus firmly in the shade. Stop what you’re doing, put your $1,500 back into savings, flex those fingers in anticipation…

Ladies and gentlemen, for the princely sum of £81 (from here) you can turn your keyboard into this:

Yes. It’s a face (at least I think it is). On your keyboard. In LEDs. Tell me a better use of £81 and I’ll call you a Dvorak-loving liar.

OK, that’s not the most flattering picture of the Luxeed LED keyboard. It does look a bit better in the pictures below, and I can see a small sliver of merit in being able to see the labels on your keys in the dark, but £81 is an awful lot to pay for the ability to paint your Tab key in magenta.

Admittedly the $1,500 keyboard was never a serious buy for consumers, but this one’s different in that it’s actually reasonably affordable. Yet the fact that it’s been kicking around in various places online for more than 18 months now and you’ve probably never seen one in the flesh – or even heard of it at all – suggests the market for such “luxuries” is pretty much non-existent outside of Luxiium’s Korean base.

A keyboard is a keyboard, and the vast majority of people just want one that works. Gamers are often willing to pay a little more for extras like shortcut buttons or an integrated screen for their ammo and health, but that actually gives them something useful for their money. Having your WASD keys in cyan may look pretty but it won’t make you strafe any faster.

Of course, if they really want the Luxeed keyboard to catch on there’s one simple solution: demonstrate a feature that’s genuinely useful in everyday life, a feature so good that we’ll see it and think “I must have that!”

Forget smily faces and rainbow effects – just put out a marketing image with the keys lit up in the shape of a comedy penis and they’ll sell to giggling Brits in their thousands.