Yes, I’m well aware that the number one is the product of a talent show that’s produced and part-judged by a record company executive.

But sitting at number two is a record that wasn’t even officially re-released, that’s sung by a man who died 11 years ago. And the reason it’s sitting pretty during the busiest chart week of the year is that a Facebook Group was so worried that the X-Factor winner was going to murder Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah, that they urged everyone to download the peerless Jeff Buckley version instead. Even Cohen’s own version of the song is sitting at number 36.  

Meanwhile, a further glance down the chart reveals The Pogues and Kirsty Maccoll’s Fairytale of New York at number 12, Mariah Carey’s pitiful All I want For Christmas at 17, Wham’s Last Christmas at 27,  and Wizzard at 33.  

I’m going home and digging out the luminous socks – it’s like 1985 again!