As part of the artwork for an upcoming Labs, I’ve been roped into some hand-modelling. It’s a glamorous affair: I was led down to one of our plush, fully-equipped photo studios and fussed over by a skilled and talented photographer and his able assistant.

There was more, too: members of the production team evaluating the pictures to see if my hand was behaving, and Art Editor Jo Clements was lovely enough to hold my elbow up throughout so I could keep the object in the correct position.

The best part, though? Finding out that the top hand models can make hundreds of pounds per hour if they keep their cuticles in great shape and wear gloves everywhere they go.

I also know how the average celebrity feels, now, as I’ve been told that my hand just wasn’t svelte or tanned enough – and I’ve been Photoshopped. The finished image, when it appears in the magazine, will feature numerous changes: the nail on my right thumb has been tidied up, a few unsightly hairs have been virtual-plucked out of existence, and my pasty, pale, IT journalist’s skin has been given a touch of fake tan.

It’s the only time that I’ve ever been able to say that I feel like Britney.

Now that the photoshopping’s out of the way, then, there’s only one mystery left – what am I holding?

Unless you can guess – and please let me know if you do – then the only way to find out is to wait and see: Issue 168 hits the shops on Thursday the 14th August. Me and my hand will see you there.