Unlimited Carphone Warehouse data? Computer says “no”

Wednesday, April 6th, 2011

Red faces all round at the Carphone Warehouse today, when it announced a £12 per month unlimited data plan that included a handset, 200 call minutes and – most surprisingly – no fair-usage policy.

The company’s UK trading director Mark Eastham underlined the surprise element of the all-you-can-eat package with a press statement, stating: “There’s no small print or fair-usage policy, so when we say ‘unlimited internet’ access we really mean it.”

The only problem was that a quick trip to the site to check the availability and, perhaps, even, place an order revealed the dreaded asterisk right next to the “Unlimited MB” column in the feature list. The asterisk led to the familiar footnote: “subject to fair-use policy.”

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Why I’ll be setting the ASA on dodgy online estate agents

Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

I’ve been hunting for a new flat for months now — so long, that no-one around the office even pretends to listen to my various estate agent complaints anymore.

As my search invariably focuses on online listings and websites, the one thing that gets my back up more than anything is adverts for flats that don’t exist or have long since been let, or ads that use photos that aren’t remotely accurate (as in, of entirely different, invariably nicer places).

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Apple iPad TV ads start already…. on the BBC

Tuesday, June 1st, 2010

Few will be surprised that the Apple iPad has started getting heavy promotion on TV, but more than few eyebrows might be raised that the free advertising is coming courtesy of the BBC.

Since the Monaco Grand Prix a fortnight ago, F1 presenter Jake Humphrey has traded in his normal clipboard for the Apple tablet. Now whenever Jake’s on screen, he’s seen brandishing the iPad, with the Apple logo embossed on the back of the device being beamed to millions of viewers worldwide.

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Microsoft mischief makes mockery of Apple ads

Friday, September 12th, 2008

All aboard, all aboard, it’s the Microsoft advert train again, next stop comedy.

That’s right, Microsoft has rolled out the second television spot in its Vista-marketing blitz, and good news comedy chums, it’s even more surreal than the first one. Again there’s no mention of Vista, but then there simply isn’t time as Bill and Jerry move into an everyday ordinary home to experience the life of normal people. Anybody familiar with the antics of shortlived Nickleoden wonder show Pete & Pete will feel right at home in this latest slice of Microsoft madness, in which cause, effect and logic are rather wonderfully torn asunder.

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PC World reveals its retail secrets

Monday, September 1st, 2008

I had the pleasure of popping into PC World on Saturday and, once there, I was handed a leaflet detailing some of the store’s current special offers. I didn’t think anything of it – I even shoved it in my pocket as I went to buy some BD-R discs – but I was in for a surprise when I had a look at the brochure after a couple of minutes.

That’s because it wasn’t actually a leaflet at all. The hapless employee had handed me an internal memo that described the ‘Weekend Top Deals’, how they’d been promoted in a variety of national media, how they’re being advertised in-store and, most intriguingly, the reasons why the chain of shops – one of the UK’s biggest, actually – is putting its marketing money behind these particular products.

Take the Sharp 46X20E 46″ digital LCD TV, for instance. Wander into the store and you may be led to believe that it’s a superb product and that it’ll provide many hours of viewing pleasure for your family.

A closer look, though, reveals that there must be a surplus in a very large warehouse somewhere. “This stock must go!” demands the brochure, following on to specify that the salespeople must “sell through all boxed stock, and your display model.” I just hope that they tell the unlucky bloke who’s bought an ex-display TV that it’s been prodded and poked by dozens of prospective buyers and offer him a suitable discount.

Even more revealing is the tale of the HP TouchSmart IQ500 – a product that’s currently sitting in the Labs and is making quite an impression at PC Pro thanks to an intuitive touchscreen interface and some stylish design. Is that why it’s on sale for such a good price?

Not entirely, according to the leaflet. It’s available for a price that, apparently, “makes great margin!”, ensuring a healthy profit on every unit sold. I’m sure that every store emphasises its most profitable products, but it’s not often that we’re given evidence of such blatant profiteering, even if it is by accident.

The worst thing, though? It’s the fact that this particular national chain spells ‘back to school’ as ‘bak2skl’. Oh dear.