Should I buy an iPhone 3GS?

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009

I’m not normally an indecisive person. For proof of this fact, I offer the following example.

“Sir would you like the chicken or the fish?”

“Fish please.”

You see, no hesitation whatsoever. However as my trusty, old (in fact, so old I don’t know what kind of phone it is – a Sony Ericsson K700i possibly) wanders drunken into obsolescence I have to face the fact that I need a new phone. Like an ageing secretary, it now ignores the majority of my calls, completely ignores text messages and naps at random times. It also has a battery life based entirely on who’s calling. If it’s family, friends or somebody else important then it’ll run for about 12 seconds. If it’s my bank manager, or a mentalist who refuses to believe they’ve got the wrong number then I can count on a solid 30 minutes (extra if they threaten my life with a carrot).

I also need a new MP3 player. It’s finally got to the point were the experience of pushing my finger through the fifteen layers of sweat and grime and Stumanity that coat my old one is too much to bear. It would also be nice if it played videos and stuff.

With all this in mind, the iPhone 3GS arrived in the office the other day and golly it’s brilliant. It’s faster than a leopard being shot from a cannon, sexier than Megan Fox halfway up a ladder, and houses a bunch of genuinely useful features. The compass and maps could very well save my life on a daily basis and the iTunes App store could keep my notoriously short attention span cowed. I also quite like the games. (more…)

Microsoft goes mad with new IE8 ads

Thursday, July 2nd, 2009

Whatever the Microsoft marketing department is on over at its Redmond HQ, long may it continue. The company’s just released its latest ads for Internet Explorer 8 and while I’m not a big fan of the browser, I’m a massive fan of these web-only ads.

Obviously inspired by the television series Mad Men the campaign features a wonderfully terrible Dean Cain hamming it up as he eulogises on the browser’s best features. Surreal doesn’t even cover the humour, which is well … odd and clearly straight out of the same camp as those Bill Gates/Jerry Seinfeld ads which I loved and everybody else hated because the world is wrong. If anything though, it’s seems clear there’s a renewed confidence within Redmond following those Laptop hunter ads which did so much to sting the cool Apple exterior.

The videos are posted below for your gratification, though we’ll warn you in advance that the O.M.G.I.G.P features projectile vomit. On the bright side, the G.R.I.P.E.S video will teach you where Dean Cain lives. Really. We know… Microsoft, what’s the world coming to.

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Switching from Hotmail to Gmail

Monday, June 1st, 2009

Last week I decided to take the plunge and switch from Hotmail to Gmail. I’ve been flirting with the idea for a while, tempted by the never-ending upgrades and conversation-view email layout. The thing that had always held me back was that I’ve been a Hotmail user for over ten years. There were a lot of emails in that account that I didn’t want to lose, so I procrastinated. Which was daft, because switching is incredibly easy and you don’t have to lose a thing. It goes a bit like this.

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The brilliance of Gnome Do

Friday, May 29th, 2009

It’s great being an Ubuntu dabbler, as every time I come back to it I find a new app to play with. Or something old that’s had an interesting overhaul. This time around it’s Gnome Do – which just keeps getting better every time I revisit it.

The basic premise of Gnome Do is to reduce the entire desktop experience to natural-language text commands. So instead of opening the browser, heading to Gmail and typing your email, you just type “email mum” and your message into Gnome Do and away it goes.

Want to update your Twitter status? Install the Twitter plug in for Gnome do, and just type “Twitter” and your message into the application. Anybody’s who played with Ubiquity will be on familiar ground, but instead of being hedged in by the browser, Gnome Do’s tentacles stretch into all aspects of the desktop – allowing you to search, run apps and set preferences. In fact, pretty much anything you can do on the desktop is accessible through Gnome Do assuming somebody’s written a plug in, and given that it’s an open-source project they’re appearing at a rate of knots. (more…)

Living with an eBook reader

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

As PC Pro’s resident book fiend I’ve had the pleasure of reviewing nearly every eBook reader released on these shores. I popped my eBook cherry reading “Farewell, My Lovely” on the Sony PRS-505. This was followed by “Moby Dick” on the Cybook Gen 3, “The Jungle Book” on the BeBook and “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” on the Cool-er – which takes the award for most disturbing book I’ve ever read.

I know some people are sceptical about this technology, but while I love paperbacks, eBook readers perfectly suit my reading habits. Just to establish those habits, I read two-to-three books a week and probably buy six or seven every fortnight. About half of those books I’ll give away, lose, or destroy while the other half slowly take over whatever house I happen to be living in. The ability to stick 850 books on a device smaller than a single paperback means that when I finally do buy a house I won’t need to worry about hiring the Royal Navy to ship my entire library for me.

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A Vista SP2 warning

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

Just a quick warning for anybody thinking of updating to Vista SP2. Our very own Paul Ockenden subjected himself to this supposedly painless process only recently and discovered that when it’s done installing, SP2 automatically reboots the machine without any warning.

Now, as Paul notes “at the start of the install it does warn you that this will happen, and suggests that you don’t use the machine while the update is taking place. But it’s on one of those screens that no-one ever reads!”

Needless to say, we highly recommend that you don’t begin patching in the background if you’re halfway through writing your War and Peace rivalling masterwork.

Given the fuss Microsoft’s been making in its Windows 7 promotion about listening to the customer and making life easier for them, there’s something particularly fitting about the gnashing of teeth likely to be caused by Vista SP2. On the bright side, it looks like Vista’s going to go out in much the same way it came in, against a chorus of complaints.

Can Spotify survive my padlocked wallet?

Tuesday, May 12th, 2009

I love Spotify, but quite recently I seem to have become the Lex Luthor to its Superman – the two of us locked in an unceasing battle of wills.

At first this was a simple matter. I refused to pay for a premium account. I’m tight, the music’s free, I don’t see the point. That brought us to a standstill, and then Spotify wheeled out its secret weapon. Jonathan.

Any regular Spotify users will know his 10-song interjections well. If you don’t they go a little something like this: “Hi, I’m Jonathan from Spotify. We all love Spotify, and now you’ve heard me say the same thing five hundred times I’m sure you’d like to cover me in sausages and take me on safari, preferably tied to the bonnet of the jeep.”

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The £250 challenge: I’d like to thank… oh, nobody

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

The results of the £250 challenge are in. I came last. A lot.

This must be what it’s like when the camera pans to you at the Oscars, a second after the presenter has announced that the idiot with the stupid hair has won the award you craved. Unfortunately, I’m not a Hollywood starlet and, more importantly, I’m not the type to sit and smile and pretend it was the taking part that counts.

I wanted to win, dammit. And not because I’m a bad loser. Which I am. And not because the Goodwill PC deserved to win. Which it did. But because I wanted technology to be about more than baubles and flashing lights and faster bits of metal. I wanted to introduce a little soul to proceedings – not mine, of course, which is currently a seething mass of wronged rage – but somebody’s, hopefully somebody nice than me.

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Apple earns Reznor’s wrath

Tuesday, May 5th, 2009

Glorious. Potty-mouthed rocker Trent Reznor – creative force behind the eternally agitated Nine Inch Nails – has taken a pop at Apple for rejecting his latest NIN iPhone app update. Apparently, the app contained some objectionable language which violated Apple’s Ts & Cs. Needless to say, this does not sit well with the Reznor.

Bask in the seething hostility of his response posted on the NiN official forums: “I’ll voice the same issue I had with Wal-Mart years ago, which is a matter of consistency and hypocrisy. Wal-Mart went on a rampage years ago insisting all music they carry be censored of all profanity and “clean” versions be made for them to carry. Bands (including Nirvana) tripped over themselves editing out words, changing album art, etc to meet Wal-Mart’s standards of decency – because Wal-Mart sells a lot of records.

“NIN refused, and you’ll notice a pretty empty NIN section at any Wal-Mart. My reasoning was this: I can understand if you want the moral posturing of not having any “indecent” material for sale – but you could literally turn around 180 degrees from where the NIN record would be and purchase the film “Scarface” completely uncensored, or buy a copy of Grand Theft Auto where you can be rewarded for beating up prostitutes. How does that make sense?”

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Top ten Flash games

Friday, May 1st, 2009

Swine flu may be pushing the human race towards oblivion, but that doesn’t mean we can’t all be ushered into extinction with a big, old smile on our collective faces. To that end, I present the ten Flash games I’ll be fiddling with when the devil comes knocking. And if these don’t satisfy, check out last year’s roundup for further delirium.

Scary Girl

Quite impossibly beautiful, Scary Girl is a tricky, wonderful platformer full of weirdness and imagination and joy. Which is a bit strange given you play a Tim Burton-inspired scary girl with an eye patch, a hook for a hand and a giant, talking cat for a best mate. Every single second of this is life-affirming, so I’m going to shut up and let you fall into its wonder.

Qwerty Warrior

Is it a touch-typing teacher, or a highly addictive, backs against the wall, Alamo-esque war romp? Brilliantly, it’s both. Learn to type, while saving the human race. Type words to destroy enemies. More enemies for a better score. A higher score for better looks, a happier life, and that street cred you’ve always wanted. Play this game, be a better person.

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