Printed from www.pcpro.co.uk
Posted on April 21st, 2010 by Stuart Turton
PC Pro perfects the iPad
We like the iPad, but there are problems. It’s too heavy for a start, meaning that if you hold it for longer than five minutes your hand falls off. This is most upsetting, especially when trying to open a packet of peanuts on a long flight.
Watching a film or reading a book using the iPad is thus out of the question, which is a real shame because the iPad’s screen is cooler than a rainbow made of Cornettos. However, where Apple failed PC Pro will succeed.
Taking on the mantle forsaken by Jonathan Ive and his design team, we’ve come up with a solution to the iPad’s problems that’s practical, yet stylish. Elegant, yet simple. A solution which blends seamlessly with the iPad experience to deliver an entirely new, entirely perfected iPad. We give you – the PCProiPad (we’re still working on the name).
Magnificent isn't it?
Bask in the glory. At a stroke, the iPad is usable. Out on the town and fancy watching a film, well now you can. And notice how I still have both my hands attached to my arms. It doesn’t end there. Perfecting the iPad means never having to miss the latest improbable revelation in Lost because you have to run off and answer the phone.
Kate did what with Sawyer?
And it doesn’t end there. Our attempt to make the iPad truly magical and revolutionary means that you never have to leave it alone again. Bathe with it, play football with it, even read magazines with it when you realise the iPad’s insane contrast has just set fire to your retinas.
Thanks to Connect A Desk for making the magic happen.
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18 Responses to “ PC Pro perfects the iPad ”
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April 21st, 2010 at 1:03 pm
For goodness sake man, get a haircut.
April 21st, 2010 at 1:09 pm
I can’t, my scruffy hair disguises my even scruffier beard.
April 21st, 2010 at 1:54 pm
It can also be used as:
a sling when someone breaks your arms because you look silly.
a breakfast tray
something to put coal on
April 21st, 2010 at 1:58 pm
To me, it screams ‘watch and surf on the bog’ which has long been a dream not achievable with my netbook (tends to burn the thighs).
April 21st, 2010 at 2:09 pm
Nice of you to wear your best T shirt.
April 21st, 2010 at 2:29 pm
wearing that you have a high risk of someone stopping you to buy one of the aforementioned Cornettos. Especially if you carry a torch in the other hand.
April 21st, 2010 at 2:31 pm
@ Clive
Imagine the disappointment. Somebody tries to buy a lovely Cornetto, and all I’ve got to offer is a silly iPad. I’d be gutted.
April 21st, 2010 at 3:20 pm
iPadPad?
April 21st, 2010 at 3:32 pm
I think this scenario really requires a girl in a short skirt, carrying the thing around and selling apps to passersby.
April 21st, 2010 at 4:00 pm
(…)It’s too heavy for a start, meaning that if you hold it for longer than five minutes your hand falls off(…)
[rant]I am quite astonished at the extent to which PC Pro contributors are moaning about heaviness of iPad. Come on, it is only 680 gram! That’s mere 55gram more than my VAIO-P. I am considering myself a miserable weakling but I can hold VAIO P while lying on my back for hours above my head using just two fingers (the middle & the ring one) having thumb and index fingers free for pressing pause (CTRL+P in WMP) or scrolling down the article using arrow keys.
A sub-700gram weight is so insubstantial that just week after multiple fracture of my upper arm I could carry it. So please behave like a man and stop whining. [/rant]
Thank you.
April 21st, 2010 at 4:45 pm
I’ve just thought of the perfect name – the iProd. Or maybe the iPrat…
April 21st, 2010 at 5:04 pm
For men, a couple of extra doughnuts very day, then a purpose built shelf aka spare tire will develop to rest the ipad.
This does not work for women, breast & fat on bums are both problems. However most respectable women would not been seen dead with the ibrick.
April 21st, 2010 at 5:11 pm
@Stasi
You hold your laptop above your head for hours? That seems even odder than Stuart’s haircut/beard combo. One day your two finger grip will fail and your laptop will become a pointy, half kilo headache. Perhaps that will knock some sense into you and convince you to buy a stylish neck strap…
April 21st, 2010 at 5:42 pm
@Mat,
Yes, I am holding it above my head, but I am not holding it with my hands streched out.
(…)one day your two finger grip will fail(…)
That happens most of the time when I fell asleep watching movie… :-*
April 21st, 2010 at 9:50 pm
This is ageism at it’s cruellest. Only a younger member of the team would have thought this one up without including the mandatory iBifocals…
(and in a bzarre twist – no word of a lie – my reCAPCHA passphrase for this post is “bifocal new”
April 21st, 2010 at 10:41 pm
PC Pro doing comedy… priceless.
April 22nd, 2010 at 11:19 am
your hair is short!!! everyone saying its long should see some real long scruffy guy hair
April 23rd, 2010 at 2:36 pm
What exactly is stasi47 doing while laying on his back for hours using WMP with just one hand?? Whatever is is, does it lead to other types of repetative strain injury?