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Posted on October 9th, 2009 by Tim Danton

The Microsoft Windows 7 party pack in pictures

The sacrifices we make. You see, PC Pro went undercover and applied for one of the Microsoft Windows 7 party packs, as advertised in the unmissable video below.

We’re still undecided whether this is a parody or a serious ad; we’d love to believe the latter, but we’re starting to wonder if Microsoft has a sense of humour. Worrying.

Our undercover plan worked, however, and I can now reveal exactly what you get in the box…

The official Microsoft Windows 7 party box in all its glory. Just for the sake of titillation, here’s the box a tiny bit open…

Windows 7 party box... a bit open.Excited yet? (For the record, those are not my hands.)

Windows 7 party box... even more open. I know, too cruel.

Finally, the full contents of the Microsoft Windows 7 party box. That’s more like it. The first thing to greet your eyes is a “Congratulations!” sheet explaining what you can do at your party (if you so desire, take a look at the Microsoft Windows 7 UK House Party website for even more ideas on how to have fun).

Windows 7 party box intro letterAs you can see from the description, you also get a poster. Which is, um, interesting. Imagine a dozen Windows wallpapers spread randomly around an A1 poster and you’ll get the idea.

Far more excitingly, you also get a pack of playing cards with a special Windows 7 decorated back. Sadly, the card fronts are standard: we were hoping for Bill Gates as the king of hearts and Steve Ballmer as the joker.

Certain members of the PC Pro office were very excited to see a jigsaw, and even as I type this they’re putting it together (it is Friday afternoon).

Then there’s the ten bags. So, when you bid your guests farewell, you’ve got something to put all those fabulous giveaways in. For example, a Windows 7 serviette, ten of which are also in the box.

It does mean that, if you have more than ten people come to your party that someone will be crushingly disappointed. Bear that in mind or friendships may be in jeopardy.

Windows 7 party box arranged in full splendour.But of far more fiscal interest is the Windows 7 Ultimate Signature Edition: signed, for you, personally (except not really), by Steve Ballmer. I say fiscal interest, because right now on eBay some kind person is offering you the chance to buy their copy of Signature Edition for £159.99.

Microsoft Windows 7 Ultimate Signature Edition.

We’re only disappointed about all those things that weren’t in the pack. Come on Microsoft, where are the balloons? Where’s the jelly mould in the shape of Clippy? Windows 7 skewers for our tasty cheese and pineapple snacks? Goddamit, we demand streamers and banners!

Instead, the only thing you get for decoration (aside from that lovely poster) is this:

Windows 7, um, thing. Which appears to be a point-of-sale piece of advertising. Which, obviously, you find at all the best parties.

But as you can see from the below, we somehow managed to overcome our disappointment. We’re only sorry we couldn’t exactly fit the exact ethnic and age requirements of Microsoft’s original video.

The official PC Pro and Windows 7 party. We know how to have fun.

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Posted in: Windows 7


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33 Responses to “ The Microsoft Windows 7 party pack in pictures ”

  1. Sir Roderick Spode Says:
    October 9th, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    This is so friggin sad….a Windows 7 party?

    Why do I secretly want to go to one? :P

  2. Xeleema Says:
    October 9th, 2009 at 9:29 pm

    Wow, this sort of sounds like the “Installfests” I throw with my local Linux Users Group. We get a bunch of food/music/etc together, some guy brings the “Distro of the Month” and we invite about 100+ people to bring their computers in.

    Funny….I don’t think MSFT would take kindly to us burning a hundred copies of the media.

    Ah well, back to the penguins for me!

  3. bels Says:
    October 9th, 2009 at 9:38 pm

    My party pack also included balloons and streamers (generic), and Windows 7 NAPKINS.

  4. Hawk Says:
    October 9th, 2009 at 9:51 pm

    Serviette means napkin. Just like the hood of your car is called a bonnet.

  5. caio Says:
    October 9th, 2009 at 9:55 pm

    linux…. so sad people.

  6. Mara Kotobuki Says:
    October 9th, 2009 at 11:13 pm

    Funny… I got a lot more in my pack. The poster, balloons, 4 colors of streamers, a puzzle, lots of info cards with things like a free copy of Kasperski A/V, tote bags, napkins, playing cards,and both 32 and 64 bit versions of 7.

  7. GW Says:
    October 9th, 2009 at 11:31 pm

    My only concern is the flimsy, lame-looking laptop on your party picture. I would have expected a more serious Lenovo or Sony Vaio from a serious mag like PCPRO. Or is that the “party” HP PoS laptop that nobody cares if bucks fizz gets into the keyboard.

  8. GreenReaper Says:
    October 10th, 2009 at 12:07 am

    Assume the party submission position, or you will miss the party . . .

  9. Ted Says:
    October 10th, 2009 at 12:28 am

    My package did include streamers and balloons, for the record. Sounds like you got unlucky.

  10. phoenix Says:
    October 10th, 2009 at 3:22 am

    The cake is a lie!

  11. paul-e Says:
    October 10th, 2009 at 4:44 am

    im throwing a party but im a “real” dj, 10 lucky guest get a tote bag and get to listen to 4 dj’s and Live Solo Artist Performance. busy bar on saturday night!

  12. Robert Says:
    October 10th, 2009 at 5:28 am

    I feel embarrassed for the people throwing these parties.

  13. Felix Says:
    October 10th, 2009 at 10:59 am

    What about the “activities”? Do they comprise the slaughter of a black goat or something?

  14. RK Says:
    October 10th, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    I seem to remember that the advertising images for Microsoft’s UK parties were the same as the US ones, but had the balloons and streamers photoshopped (”MS-Painted”?) out.
    So perhaps it’s just the UK party packs which don’t contain the balloons, etc.? Health & safety, probably.

  15. micro sd Says:
    October 10th, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    Looks like nice parties. Must have had a great time at the party you attended. Do post more photos of this if you have. Thanks.

  16. BlissSolutions Says:
    October 10th, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    Didn’t you hear the rumor?…
    ~ about the jigsaw puzzle of course

    Apparently Steve had is dipped in Liquid LSD ~ so your actually meant to be eating the jigsaw of course.

    And now you can understand how the called it a “party” (providing the rumor proves to be true)

  17. Fabio Cavaliere Says:
    October 11th, 2009 at 12:35 am

    Mwahahahaha! I don’t know what is more funny: wether the mock-up of an install-fest (which Windows users always claimed to be an outrageously stupid thing) or the boasted “amazing” features that Windows 7 sports and that were already there on MacOs Tiger or even Panther…Oh, and…have they arrived yet to the part when they “invent” the dashboard? Wake me up, because I don’t want to miss it!

  18. Lance Smith Says:
    October 11th, 2009 at 5:31 am

    They’re not serious, are they? It’s a Hallowe’en Party, isn’t it? Please tell me the truth, as you can see I’m very confused. I don’t know what to believe anymore, on the net that is. AND I’m a ‘early adoptee’, like I used CompuServe in the late 70’s, I know I’m old but I’m not stupid, yet.
    If it’s not a joke it’s gotta be a very sad indictment on what now passes for ‘Entertainment’ in the new fangled 21st Century.

  19. Steve Cassidy Says:
    October 11th, 2009 at 12:22 pm

    Lance, be fair…. I can remember launches around the tme of Windows 3 where especially novel features were each greeted by individual rounds of applause and the occasional standing ovation.

    And I have to say, Fabio: I love Macs but there’s no doubt in my mind that Explorer in XP has been and remains streets ahead of Finder for actually getting some work done.

  20. Stu C Says:
    October 11th, 2009 at 12:32 pm

    That video has a certain “Your parents dancing at weddings” that makes it both awful and somehow uplifting like if there are actors prepared to do that stuff things must be pretty bad over there.

    Good Job! ethnically and age balanced crew! We really rocked those stuffy Brits!!!!

    Oh you guys…Microsoft “Totally” has a sense of humour!, seriously the Popes wife told me so.

  21. efee Says:
    October 12th, 2009 at 8:35 am

    Wether Microsoft were serious in their thinking about people ‘actually’ having parties or not, one thing its definetly achieved is people talking about Windows 7, which is they really want in the end.

  22. Matt Says:
    October 12th, 2009 at 11:12 am

    I don’t think people are really talking about Windows 7 here, just how amusing this whole thing is.

    I mean I could bring up my thoughts on the Windows 7 RC but I am not going to. Instead I will point the MS are trying to hard, the video was so cringe-worthy I had to stop watching it and that I am actually a little bit insulted that they tried to tell us how to have a party.

    And I believe the video is ’serious’. The video is so setting is so ‘normal’ and ‘casually scripted’ -I can’t see a hint of tongue in cheek or spoofy. Unlike the Springer-Gates ads which, looking back, are pretty great compared to this.

  23. milliganp Says:
    October 12th, 2009 at 11:42 am

    When I sent out the invites to my party most of the replies were paraphrases of “you must be joking”. When I assured everyone that wine would be served (not the cola in the Microsoft cringe-video) most agreed to come and have a look!

    By the way, when I signed up there was a lengthy contract including a clause that exempted Microsoft from liability if alcohol was served in the presence of minors.

    The pack came with a customs declaration that ‘valued’ the copy of Windows 7 Ultimate at 66cents, which I presume is cost of manufacture. So everyone being charged £25 for “free” upgrades are being truly ripped off.

  24. Matt Says:
    October 12th, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    Err… I clearly meant Seinfeld, not Springer. Getting my Jerry S* confused…

  25. Robert Schifreen Says:
    October 12th, 2009 at 4:43 pm

    I heard a rumour there’s a bug in the pack which could allow malicious hackers to crash your party remotely. Hope it’s not true.

  26. BN Says:
    October 12th, 2009 at 8:35 pm

    Copy of Windows 7 ultimate is Microsoft’s gift to people who used Beta and rc releases of Windows 7. Also provides good publicity to Windows 7 launch. BTW the tote bags are actually very useful bringing the shopping back from the supermarket. I used one in M&S and it is definitely bigger and easier to carry than their ‘bag for life’!

  27. Steve Cassidy Says:
    October 13th, 2009 at 10:38 am

    I guess the Sidekick user group party would produce slightly different pictures…

  28. jonners99 Says:
    October 13th, 2009 at 4:45 pm

    I hope that is a parody by Microsoft as otherwise I worry about them…

  29. BN Says:
    October 13th, 2009 at 7:47 pm

    Actually when I think about it you guys by ‘going undercover’ and obtaining a party pack have deprived a genuine applicant for this promotion from receiving the pack. A windows enthusiast/ beta tester is left out because of this. So the honourable thing to do, now that you have got your article out of this, is either send it back so that it is sent to the next person on the promotion list or get the details from the organiser and forward the pack yourselves. I hope you didn’t actually install the program?

  30. David Wright Says:
    October 14th, 2009 at 1:00 pm

    The party is off, my copy of Windows 7 turned up today! :D

  31. BillB Says:
    October 15th, 2009 at 12:19 pm

    Being raised on DOS, W95 thru Vista and realizing W2000 was the only REAL Windows OS and Vista a NT nock off, I will not buy W7. Why? Because it is nothing more than Vista’s code cut up and re assembled. Also without the CLASSIC option, having to suffer through all the bells and whistles of a childish OS is not productive. No, W7 NEVER!
    Is Unix still around !?!?

  32. David Wright Says:
    October 15th, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    The Classic look is still in there, I clicked on it accidentally last night! :-O

    If you are so stuck in time, the classic look will make you feel instantly at home. ;-)

  33. Bass-playing Chemist Says:
    October 15th, 2009 at 4:00 pm

    @ Xeleema: Yes indeed this does sound like install fests. It’s 27 days until the release of openSuSE 11.2, the latest version of my favourite flavour of linux. SuSE has been having release day parties for a few releases already, they include beer and yes you are all welcome to install the OS from the same disc. I bet it’ll be more fun than an MS Win7 party any day.

    PS Streamer “colors” and jigsaw “rumors” may only be available in the US boxes.


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