When Microsoft announced it was launching an iPlayer rival I could barely hear the words over the onrushing sound of catastrophic failure. If you listen closely, you can hear it too…. Huuuluuu, Huuuluuu, Hulu.

Having used Hulu, I can testify that it’s brilliant and now its flame-filled eyes of domination are on the UK. If the whispers are true it’ll stride into the UK next month, laughing maniacally and kicking its competitors in the crotch, I’d imagine. It’s going to be a bloodbath and if I were Microsoft I’d take Windows 7 and Office 2010 and hunker down in my fortress made of £100 notes. Instead it’s tying itself to the tracks. Unfortunately, stubbornness has never derailed a freight train.

So, that’s that. What really baffles me about MSN Video Player (yes, beyond its very existence) is that Microsoft’s chosen to roll it out on Flash. That’s Adobe’s Flash. That’s Adobe, the next-door-neighbour with the bigger garden, prettier wife and stranglehold on the internet. Microsoft’s been trying to unseat Flash with Silverlight for the last couple of years, ushering developers towards the platform with big smiles and over-elaborate tech demos. And now, confronted by one of its biggest web rollouts for years, it expresses its confidence in Silverlight by sidling into its rivals garden and groping his wife.

I was so perturbed by this I rang up the Microsoft press office and asked why they’d decided not to launch on Silverlight. After some scurrying around, somebody clearly cracked open the can of random PR excuses and pulled forth the following cracker:

We are launching MSN Video Player in pilot form and it is based on existing technology… We are very impressed by Silverlight’s capability and look forward to extending the way it is used to enhance the MSN Video Player experience in the medium term.

Disregarding the fact that it never gets anywhere near answering the question, can somebody explain how Silverlight is not an “existing technology”. And if it’s not, then what is it? Tomorrow’s technology, yesterday’s technology, a week last Thursday’s technology?

There’s also something slightly off about claiming “we are very impressed by Silverlight’s capability” and “extending the way it is used” and “medium term”. Reading it again, it’s almost as if the entire sentence was assembled from stock phrases found on Microsoft’s giant wall of generalisations.

And I couldn’t slink off without leaving you with the following nugget further down in the statement.

MSN Video Player is launching as a pilot to allow it to evolve throughout the pilot period to reflect user requirements within the UK.

What…?