Think Amazon’s just a cheap way of getting hold of bestsellers and DVDs? Think Again. We’ve uncovered 10 absolutely incredible items for sale on the online emporium.

1. Wolf Urine Lure-32 oz

The blurb says: “Use our 100% urine lures to create the illusion predators are present in the area you wish.”

Reviewer Glenn Berkemeier says: ”Today is Valentine’s Day and I hoped that a little splash of this would drive my lady wild. But alas… I sleep alone again. Also I keep hearing all this howling outside my bedroom.”

2. Bombproof Your Horse

The blurb says: “A clearly illustrated manual that shows equestrians how to prepare their horses for the unexpected, turning them into safer, more pleasurable mounts.” 

Reviewer Adam ‘The Zebra’ Popovich says: “I spent several hours reading this book, and there is absolutely no information about bombproofing horses, which the title implies. Because of this, I lost my fourth Arabian this month due to horse bandits.”

3. Paul Ross – 20 Inch Canvas Print

The blurb says: “A 2001 portrait of TV presenter Paul Ross, on the set of his new Daytime TV Quiz – No Win No Fee.” Sat in a whicker chair. With a glass of water.

Reviewer Fossickson Greeb-Streebling says: “Don’t buy this picture. It looks fine on the website, but the one they send you is upside-down. My wife hasn’t stopped crying for a week.” 

4. How Green Were the Nazis?: Nature, Environment, and Nation in the Third Reich

The blurb says: “How Green Were the Nazis? Nature, Environment, and Nation in the Third Reich is the first book to examine the Third Reich’s environmental policies and to offer an in-depth exploration of the intersections between brown ideologies and green practices. This landmark book underscores the fact that the ‘green’ policies of the Nazis were more than a mere episode or aberration in environmental history.”

Reviewer The Kinniburgh Kid says: “My eldest step-son bought me a copy for my birthday and it’s a gift that goes on giving. I haven’t read more than a couple of hundred words in it, but having it on view on my desk at work is a real conversation starter.”

5. Sigmund Freud Psychology Action Figure

The blurb says: “Celebrate the great achievements of the man responsible for modern psychotherapy with this Sigmund Freud Action Figure. Prop him on your desk or nightstand to inspire you to explore the depths of your unconscious and embrace the symbolism of your dreams.”

Reviewer Raul A. Suarez Giacoman “Alex G  says: “I just recently bought this item for my younger sister who is actually studying Psychology… needles [sic] to say she loved it!”

6. People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to Do About it

The blurb says: “This book is an explanation of the inexplicable. Hill has woven a fascinating narrative, incorporating the history and theory of what happens when people die, with a particular emphasis on the last forty years and the rich information the new consciousness movement has brought.”

Alas, no reader reviewers. But people who bought this also bought: Fabulous Small Jews and The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories. Quite a demographic.

7. Dolly The Sexy Inflatable Sheep

The blurb says: “Meet dolly, the sexy inflatable sheep. Genetically modified for your pleasure, ewe’ll never want another partner! Never again be alone at night, she’s the plastic pal who’s fun to be with. No more suspicious baas from the bedroom!”

No-one brave enough to admit buying this, either.

8. Large Bag of Bones – 10 Pounds

The blurb says: “Contains approximately 10 pounds of assorted 4th quality bones. This bag contains life-size skull, humerus, hand (on wire), hip bone and sacrum (tail bone). Also contains a foot, lower jaw, clavicle, ribs, vertebrae, arm and leg bones in various sizes from life-size to mini. 4th quality bones may be imperfect, discolored, unfinished, or have missing hardware.”

Reviewer Ian says: “Not only was the final product terrible, but when I went to throw them away, one of the pointier ribs tore a hole through the bag, spilling tibulae and fibulae onto the sidewalk. This led to a very awkward conversation with my neighbour, and subsequently, the police. In short, I cannot recommend these bones, nor can I recommend Target store-brand trash bags (kitchen size).”

9. 5Lb Fat Replica

The blurb says: “A grossly dramatic replica of 5 lbs of fat. Shows the additional blood vessels needed to maintain additional fat. Made of pliable long-lasting vinyl.”

Reviewer Jonathyn R. Brown “jonathyn” says: “Using fat in demonstrations is unhealthy and rather offensive, I’ve come to find out. And when someone told me about these replicas, I was simply amazed. First off, they look like the real thing, if memory serves. All I have now is an orange stain on my passenger seat to go by (note to all, crack a window on those hot days if you’re going shopping and leaving your demo fat in the car).”

10. C**t coloring book: Drawings

The blurb says: “‘In 1973 I set out to do drawings of women’s genitals for use in sex education groups. I wanted the drawings to be lovely and informative, to give pleasure and affirmation. I organised the drawings into a coloring book because a major way we learn to understand the world, as children, is by coloring. As adults many of us still need to learn about our external sexual anatomy.’

Reviewer E B Mulligan says: “This is a coloring book of full-page drawings of women’s vaginas.”