Welcome to Stuart Turton’s 2008 anti-awards. These are not voted for by the public, there’s no free booze, swanky trophy or glittering ceremony, and you better believe they’re biased. Here, in no particular order, are all the things that made my 2008 memorable, whether because they filled my head with happy, or just made my teeth itch.

Most embarrassing event of the year

The will they, won’t they, courtship between Microsoft and Yahoo was just about the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever seen. Yahoo couldn’t resist Microsoft’s bedroom eyes, but didn’t want to appear cheap, while Microsoft made the old lover’s mistake of seeming overeager. Microsoft proposed, Yahoo said no… for a bit, then yes, but it was too late, Microsoft was shunned and not coming back. Yahoo’s share price is now somewhere south of hell, Yang’s out of a job and Steve Ballmer needs a new plan. Worst first date ever.

Brilliant thing of the year

Tough one this. There were a few brilliant things shortlisted for this award, including Fusion Man’s flight across the channel on a jetwing, the Sony eBook reader and MI6’s decision to advertise on Facebook. The winner, though, is Dropbox. Nothing’s made this much difference to the way I work since the introduction of minimum wage. I work on a file in the office, forget about it, go home and there it is waiting for me. Marvellous stuff. It just works. No fiddling, or hassle. It’s everything technology and innovation is supposed to be, but never quite manages.

Weirdest moment of the year

Stephen Fry is awesome. Simple fact. One moment he’s a silver-tongued sophisticate, charming birds out of trees with prose soft enough to fall asleep on, and the next moment he’s a foul-mouthed fury, breathing fire at Vista in language that sends sailors scurrying back to their bunks. And doing it on Twitter, no less. If anybody says they saw that coming they’re a liar and a brigand, sir, a brigand.

Most soul destroying moment of the year

The destruction of my pen drive. The realisation that I hadn’t backed anything up for three years. The complete lack of sympathy from… well anybody. Lesson well and truly learned.

Thing that nearly made my head explode in 2008

The devil that is my work PC came close, as did those ridiculous self-service machines in Tesco. Ultimately though it was the outrage at the Prime Minister’s comedy dismissal of the Jeremy Clarkson for Prime Minister petition. It was a bandwagon with David Cameron at the wheel, and half a million people with nothing better to do clinging on for dear life. Brown could have appeared at a press conference wearing a Panda’s head for a hat, and it wouldn’t have stoked up such strong feeling. It was funny people. Get a grip.

Me VS the World moment

If you’re going to take a kicking, you might as well make it worthwhile. So, it was with my Gary McKinnon post, which expressed in no uncertain times my utter lack of sympathy for the alleged hacker. Other people, vocal people, have quite a lot. Some of the opinions were eloquent, others were… erm, less eloquent… but none of them have changed my mind. If you put yourself in the way of a car, expect to get run over.

Thing I was utterly wrong about this year

Facebook. Again. Year after year I predict the demise of Fadbook, and year after year, it carries on growing, despite the fact that I’m still not entirely sure what it’s good for. This year, I almost escaped its prodding, pushing, ninja-attacking clutches, only to go on holiday and have all my new-found friends post their snaps on the damn thing. So, I’m back, again, and hating myself for it. The mafia would be easier to leave than Facebook.