Posted on November 25th, 2008 by Barry Collins
Ofcom: the chocolate fireguard starts to crack
More than half of Britons haven’t got the first clue whether their broadband connection is dawdling along at dial-up pace or delivering data to their door at warp speed, according to Ofcom’s newly-published (and ironically titled) Consumer Satisfaction report. “The proportion of broadband customers unaware of their connection speeds has continued to grow – 55% were unaware of their connection speed (actual speed),” the report claimed.
Who’s to blame for this widespread ignorance? The ISPs, who continue to advertise “up to” speeds that are often so detached from reality they make the X-Files look like a documentary? Ofcom and its equally toothless cohorts at the Advertising Standards Authority who’ve allowed the ISPs to get away with marketing these fantasy speeds? No, apparently it’s us meddling journalists.
“Press coverage about advertised maximum or headline speeds differing from actual speeds may have increased the confusion,” Ofcom claims, without a shred of evidence to back up its case. (I’ve asked – Ofcom has mysteriously failed to return my call).
So, sorry folks. We apologise. When we publish stories about official Government statistics that show 42.3% of broadband connections are slower than 2Mb/sec, we’re confusing you. When we repeat surveys that show Britain is below Hungary, Slovakia and Poland in terms of broadband speeds, we’re playing with your minds. When we have covers proclaiming a “great broadband con” – because you’re not getting anywhere near the speeds you hand over hefty chunks of your hard earned for – we’re simply conning you.
Listen instead to Ofcom: your average broadband speed is chugging along at 4.6Mb/sec, the rural broadband divide has disappeared, and there’s no problem with headline speeds. And the recession’s over. And the War in Iraq has finished with only a bullet-scratch to one of our squaddies. And the sun’s just come out.
13 Responses to “ Ofcom: the chocolate fireguard starts to crack ”
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November 25th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
I think I and a lot of other people find it difficult to get as excited about this as PC Pro. My broadband leaves a lot to be desired (like the price), but doing anything about it is a nightmare of call-centres, gaps in service provision while changing ISP, and a bevy of hidden charges. So most reasonable people just shrug and make do with a sub-optimal service. Most reasonable people realise they are powerless to do anything about it. So yes, OFCOM are a bunch of duplicitous w**k**s and ISPs are greedy, but isn’t that the natural order of things? Getting excited about it is about as pointless as a chocolate tea-pot. And you journalists have copy to sell after all so are not really a disinterested third-party. Move on, there’s nothing to look at here.
November 25th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Well, that’s a great attitude to take. You can’t be bothered so you just make do with a sub-standard service. Brilliant. Just brilliant. This is how ISPs in the UK have got away with it so long – they rely upon the utter apathy of the british web-surfing public. It is a hassle sure, but its always worth complaining when the service you receive doesn;t match your expectations.
I swapped to Be after nightmares with the likes of Bulldog many moons ago, and I have nothing but praise for them. They have been responsive, helpful and they inform me of service issues normally well in advance of them happening. And, what’s more, the actual broadband is pretty good too. It IS worth shopping around.
November 25th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
I think most people would notice if their ADSL connection only ran at dial up speeds, so the opening statement of the article is bo**cks. I do not monitor my connection speed day by day and I couldn’t tell what it is as I type. But it’s okay. And let’s face it I could have a fibre optic 24 mb/sec connection and it wouldn’t make a blind bit of difference if the site I am accessing is slow, like for example, the PC Pro website often is!!!!!!!!! I actually think ADSL is amazingly cheap. And I feel a little bit sorry for ISP’s – they’re crucified by the likes of PCPro on the one hand whilst at the same time having to spend ever increasing amounts of money to support the increasing banwidth demand from new web 2.0 services (eg iPlayer) over which they have little control. If I was reincarnated, I definitely wouldn’t want to come back to find I was running an ISP!
November 25th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
I view my stats and IPprofile as I want to receive what I pay for. If my ISP states up to 8mb they better do their best to deliver up to 8mb, not 2mb.
If I wanted 2mb I would pay for a 2mb line (non adslmax)
All of last year I was connecting at 7mbps, this year my ISP decides (well BT through their profiling nonsense) bought it down to 5mbps.
I complained and the connection is back up to 7mbps. Do people realise Sweden and other developed countries have 100mbps lines? All we have is the BT chairman complaining that they cannot deliver 40mbps, what is it to hard to work out how to do it?
Why do I need 7mbps? Well the internet has so many uses other than browsing, and those times you want to view emails, work remotely via vpn and download a show through iplayer I dont want to have my experience spoilt by a rubbish 2mbp line.
It amazes me how people in the UK put up with anything as they cannot be bothered to complain.
My wife and I complain to companies and have received redunds, discounts, and recently a free camera via canon’s ebay site because they failed to deliver a camera to my house. All it took was a couple of emails.
If Ofcom keep saying ‘everything is ok’, then we need to stand up and tell them its not. Show them test results done through the bt speed test site, and ask them for a written reply.
Post your replies so everyone can see what is going on…I could go on but rather enjoy my speedy connection :_) Oh I am with adsl24, which does not block ports, throttle my connection and offers a LLU connections.
November 26th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Personally, I want the service I pay for. No more and no less. It is that simple.
If an ISP cannot provide the service of merchantable quality, they should not be advertising the service, pure and simple. You are asked by signing up to the contract to guarrantee payments for quality which is not guarranteed in return. Doesn’t sound like a good deal to me.
As an example, would you accept TV reception at 10 frames per second because the provider can’t provide the full service or because too many other people in the UK are also viewing it? Broadband is no different.
While I don’t agree with some of the presentation of material in the press the bottom line remains unchanged…
Ofcom, wake up. We want to receive a reasonable standard the goods for the money we pay. No more, no less.
November 26th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
“More than half of Britons haven’t got the first clue”
You could have stooped there. Except it implies that the edukashun system has improved around 3000% under new Labour. Perhaps that’s the real story “More than half of Britons now have a clue”
I’m with VM and get 10mbps as advertised, so, for reasons of gratuitous spite, I’m quite happy the rest of you have crappy internet connections.
November 26th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Surely chocolate fireguards melt rather than crack?
November 27th, 2008 at 5:46 am
Taxes are extracted from the taxpayer, with the ultimate sanction of going to prison if you don’t pay. Any organisation that is funded so comfortably has a HIGHER duty of service, performance and care. It also has the power and teeth to get its way. Without even a competitive organisation with which to fight for market share, OFCOM should be able to devote itself entirely to its mission.
OFCOM should set itself the task to set, monitor and achieve world-class standards. In a world where technology is fast-moving, the standard will be ever-rising. It should be easier to catch up, when we are lagging behind other countries and they are showing us how it can be done (if they can achieve higher standards, why can’t our ISPs? Part of OFCOM’s task is to find out if it doesn’t know).
One thing that would help would be a statutory requirement that by 2012 all software on UK computers must VISIBLY display the actual speed of broadband transmission being achieved (a) second by second, (b) minute by minute, and (c) average during the connection time within the past 24 hours. Not just hidden away on some obscure menu selection, but as a default pop-up panel on the screen that has to be actively removed if you don’t want it. Just like the Speedometer on a car is not hidden away under the bonnet, alongside the oil dipstick.
Even better, there could be a statistics table of such speeds being achieved by different providers in one’s immedate telephone district. Day by day, comparisons could be made. Press and radio could make reports. I know I would find this useful when my current contract comes to its end.
.
November 27th, 2008 at 6:33 am
By and large, the ISP’s do seem to be getting their act together just a little, but the poor customer service and the false advertising Does need something done about it.
The thing to do is, in the first instance, complain to OFCOM. When they ignore/flannel/patronise you, complain to your MP.
If enough of us do it, they Will take heed as there will be a lot of them terrified for their overpaid jobs and expense accounts in a year or two.
Make them do somrthing for your vote!!!
November 27th, 2008 at 10:18 am
And I’m pleased to announce that John Hind wins the ‘Pedant of the Year’ award. Well done, John.
November 27th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
In conjunction with Mr Paxman who takes cynic of the year…
OFCOM
Officially Feckless, Clueless & Out Moded.
November 28th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
“Surely chocolate fireguards melt rather than crack?”
Only when heat is applied to them. Excessive cold or blunt trauma applied to an unheated chocolate fireguard could indeed cause it to crack.
Now, Mr Paxman, may I have his ‘Pedant of the Year’ award?
On topic, I find it ridiculous that we’re so far behind other european countries in terms of broadband speed and cost.
I remember i nearly fell off my seat when working in Maastricht several years ago. I was watching a TV advert for 20Mb home broadband for around 25 euros per month. Up until that point, I had been feeling smug for paying £50 a month for 4Mb, which was the fastest i could get.
Now, 4 years later, we have the speed available in some areas, but for a vastly greater price than the Netherlands were paying. I’m sure they’ve got some nice deals now!
December 24th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
rural broadband internet…
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