I can’t imagine that when Mark “is this really my surname” Papermaster decided to ditch IBM’s boring old blade servers for Apple’s ever-so-hip iPods he could have forseen the fuss that would ensue. Trade secrets, accusations of desertion, shattered promises and a thousand broken hearts are just a few of the gems that have fallen from this legal pinata. And yet my favourite, my absolute favourite, is that just before he left, Papermaster was reportedly told by the company “to consider the effect of his decision on his family.”

How brilliant is that? IBM pulled the family card, and what a card it is… because obviously when a man decides to upsticks from Texas to California, to throw 26 years of his life in a truck and turn his back on his friends, he does so on a whim. He wakes up in the morning and says “honey, forget the toast, I’ve decided to ditch my suit for a polo neck and work for Apple, I don’t know if there’s a position available but by lord I intend to find out. I’ve spent nineteen years designing servers and now I want to follow my dreams… what do you mean the children? Oh, who cares, Tom’s always been a nuissance… his name’s Mark you say, well that proves it. Come along darling, the bus for Cupertino’s waiting!”

Erm no. Papermaster took this decision with the full backing of his children – who no doubt have dreams of ballponds filled with iPods – and his wife, who’s probably relishing the prospect of the next 26 years without any server pillow-talk whatsoever.

I don’t know whether the comment shows a particularly cack-handed attempt at man-management from one of the world’s great technology companies, or rather a touching last-ditch attempt to keep hold of a man it clearly values. On the other hand, if you take the comment out of the cosy surrounds of the office, and place it in the mouth of a shadowy figure, standing behind a pair of beaming headlights in the parking garage – it all goes a little bit mafioso.

Oh well, the point remains this entire thing is becoming a bit of a guilty pleasure. I imagine this is what all those surreptitious Big Brother watchers feel like. Anyway, I await with baited breath the next thwack of the Papermaster pinata, and whatever delights fall out.