There’s a wee frisson of excitement every Wednesday morning on the PC Pro newsdesk. For Wednesday is the day that brings the esoteric bag of brilliance that is the Advertising Standard Authority’s latest batch of ajudications.

More often than not, the only tech interest is BT and Virgin Media using the ASA to settle their latest petty dispute over whose dad is actually biggest. But occassionally, just occasionally, the ASA delivers a verdict of such sumptuous entertainment, that it earns a round of spontaneous applause from even us world-weary cynics. 

Our all-time favourite ASA judgement was last year’s ridiculously harsh ruling against the retailer Staples, which according to one, clearly confused, customer had charged her £44 for a USB cable for her printer. Staples quite reasonably insisted that it “did not sell a cable for £44 and were unsure what the customer could have been offered for that price but they did not believe it was a USB cable.”  In fact, for that money, it was probably the printer itself, but the ASA still sided with the owner of the world’s most expensive printer lead and upheld the complaint. 

This morning, however, it is games maker Electronic Arts’ turn under the microscope. The company incurred the wrath of no fewer than a dozen complainants for an advertising promotion for its latest war romp, Battlefield: Bad Company.

The ASA describes the advert thus:

The headline in the top half stated “Meet Miss July MERCEDES PARELLADA”.  It featured an image of a bar stool with muddy footprints in front of it which led off to the right of the page.  A transcript of an interview with ‘Mercedes’ was set out in a text box on the right-hand side of the page.  ”Age: 26 … What kind of men do you like?  I love soldiers.  I love men in uniform carrying big guns, it’s so hot.  There is something about how they are so put together which makes me want to get them all dirty.  Any hobbies? Gold, I love gold… I need a man who’s loaded to fulfil my golden fantasies.  There are so many things I want, like my underwear made of gold.  What’s your favourite book?  I’m reading a book called “Lonely Soldier.”  It’s about a soldier who falls in love with a stripper from another country while at war.  Her family won’t let him see her because of the war.  What is a turn on?  Explosions.  I love it.  It’s just pure power.  I don’t like blowing things up.  But I love watching a man do it.  It’s so hot, it’s like he’s saying to me, “BAM, I will destroy you lady with my explosive love.”  It drives me crazy.  What are turn offs?  Men who don’t blow stuff up.  What are your plans for the future?  I’d love to enlist in the army.  People tell me I have a sweet voice and I think I’d be a great dispatch girl.  And I could meet lots of manly soldiers and see nice explosions.”  Text below stated “Full pictorial in next month’s issue of B.C.”  Below was an image of the front cover of “B.C.” magazine which featured ‘Mercedes’ as the cover girl.  

Shockingly, the objectors argued that the advert depicted poor Mercedes as a “sex object” and a “spoil of war”, and that the campaign was degrading and offensive to women. 

Banged to rights, surely? Well, the ASA brilliantly concluded that “the ad depicted ‘Mercedes’ as a materialistic ‘airhead’, whose interests included money and men”. However:

We noted from the interview with ‘Mercedes’ that the men were her ‘type’.  We considered therefore that there was no suggestion that she had been taken by force or against her will; we also considered that there was no suggestion of impending violence against her.  We concluded that the ad was unlikely to cause serious or widespread offence or be seen to condone or glamorise violence or sexual violence.

Case dismissed. As you were, corporal.

You have to admire a watchdog that refuses to believe a respected high-street retailer when it tells it can’t possibly have sold a woman a £5 cable for £44, but is willing to concede that a fictional “materialistic airhead” isn’t degrading to women because she tells a fictitious interviewer that misogynistic men are “her type”.