Yes, it is true, Steve ‘Barmy’ Ballmer the exuberant Microsoft CEO has confirmed that he is to retire. The 52 year old originator of the Monkey Dance as performed in tribute by Ricky Gervais during an episode of The Office, was speaking to an audience in Washington earlier in the week when he let slip the big decision: he will be stepping down from his role as big cheese of the biggest software company on the planet.

Don’t get too excited though, Ballmer bashers, because there is a bit of a wind-down period to allow him to get his affairs in order. Nine or ten years to be precise, or at least until his “last kid goes to college” apparently.

Seriously though, it does seem a shame it will take so long when you consider how badly Vista has been received generally speaking, and no matter how you try and paint it pretty that is the truth of the matter, not to mention the whole not buying Yahoo fiasco.

But if not Ballmer, then who? Bill Gates has, of course, already been there, done that and got the ‘I’m out of here’ t-shirt. Indeed, he gave what is widely expected to be his last major Microsoft speech this week before concentrating on whatever multi-billionaires with time on their hands do.

Joanne Bradford, former MSN Media Network chief media officer and also a former Microsoft VP of sales and marketing is out of the running. The clue is in the ‘former’ preface, as she has jumped ship and joined a startup instead. I guess nobody would have seriously thought that Rob Short, the former VP for Windows Core Technology or, to put it another way, the man responsible for Vista, was ever going to be a serious contender. Not least because he suffers from the same former-itis as Bradford having quit earlier in the year. I can’t imagine why. Jeff Raikes, another long-time Microsoftee, currently the president of the Microsoft Business Division is not yet a former but will be by the end of the year as he has announced he is retiring in September. Which pretty much only leaves Ray Ozzie, Chief Software Architect and another man to have well and truly served his time at Microsoft.

It’s him or Hillary Clinton…