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Posted on April 29th, 2008 by David Bayon

Next month’s issue is cancelled

Grand Theft Auto IVAnd here it is.

Virgin on Oxford Street (what’s Zavvi?!) had less than ten copies left at 9:45 this morning, and this copy is currently under lock and key somewhere secure and secret at Dennis Towers (err…my bag).

It’s not for PC Pro; hell, it’s not even on the PC, but it will eat up the best part of my May, June, probably even July when everyone else out getting sunlight and exercise. I’ll move the telly next to the window and wave at them with pity. Fools.

It’s actually provoked a feisty debate here at Pro. In one corner sit myself and Mr Mike Jennings, for whom this release was the main reason for investing in a PS3. In the other corner sit Messrs Fearon, Sparkes and Turton, bitterly throwing the usual “it’ll just be GTA with better graphics blah blah blah” arguments for want of something useful or interesting to say.

They’re wrong.

So, by the way, is Jack Thompson, the famously game-hating U.S. attorney – he’s called GTA IV “the gravest assault upon children in [America] since polio”. Maybe things are different over there, but if he took even a cursory glance at the UK box he could hardly miss the huge (twice the size of those on DVDs) “18″ certificate which should prevent respectable retailers from allowing it anywhere near children. There’s simply no excuse for parents to claim ignorance when the adult nature of the thing is made so patently clear.

For those of us over 18 and capable of distinguishing fantasy from reality, April 29th 2008 will go down in history as the day gaming grew into an art form comparable with the finest examples from the world of film*. In fact, reports are suggesting the sheer number of young adults locking themselves away with the game may even cripple the opening weekend of the new superhero movie, Iron Man, despite impressive reviews.

Whether it’ll tempt our esteemed editor away from the only game he plays – 1999’s crap racer Re-Volt – remains doubtful. The only certainty is that next month’s PC Pro may be somewhat lacking in articles by me.


*Ok, the game is still in its wrapper so I admit this may be a teensy bit premature. It will certainly be better than The Godfather Part III, though. And all three Star Wars prequels. Possibly not quite as good as Howard The Duck.

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Posted in: Random, Rant

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4 Responses to “ Next month’s issue is cancelled ”

  1. Matthew Sparkes Says:
    April 29th, 2008 at 2:44 pm

    “The only certainty is that next month’s PC Pro may be somewhat lacking in articles by me.”

    Should be a cracking issue.

     
  2. Darien Graham-Smith Says:
    April 30th, 2008 at 11:53 am

    Fewer.

     
  3. David Fearon Says:
    May 1st, 2008 at 2:17 pm

    It’ll never beat Elite on the BBC Micro. Fact.

     
  4. Stuart Turton Says:
    May 1st, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    The Thargoids are coming, the Thargoids are coming! Ace.

     

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